I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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