wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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