did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
