She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize