Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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