i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
