My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
