But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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