So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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