where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
