i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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