No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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