And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
