so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
