Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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