i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
