my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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