ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
