Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
