We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
