Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
