I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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