I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
