she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
