so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
