brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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