I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
