Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
