is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
