i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
