I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
