oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
