Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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