I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
