you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
