I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
