I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
