Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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