If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
handjob tips. give me some.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
