I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We have so much sex to catch up on
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
