Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
