I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize