Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is my gift to your gina
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
