FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
