I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
