I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
