he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
BRING THE BAGELS
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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