I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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