How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
