but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This house was built for laser tag.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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