This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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