even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
