I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
