Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
