I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
