how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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