He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
