She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
