So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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