I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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